


Waking

by lovetree



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Drabble, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Nonbinary Character, Other, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15672009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovetree/pseuds/lovetree
Summary: Matías has always loved watching him wake up.





	Waking

Matías has always loved watching him wake up. They’ve had plenty of opportunity for it, being the early bird between the two of them, and with Asra’s tendency to take a nap anywhere at any time. The hazy way he drifts into consciousness, the flutter of long lashes and the deep breath that swells in his chest just before he starts to stretch. But best of all is the look on his face when he catches sight of Matías. 

Ever since they awoke helpless in his arms three years ago, Matías has known it. That memory is traumatic for a lot of reasons, but even from that point they could feel it in their bones: their uncomplicated adoration for him, so strong that even the pain of rebirth paled beside it in memory. And they remember his face, so beautiful, so inexplicably happy to see them… and then grief crept in with the realization that they couldn’t understand the sounds coming from his mouth. And that was how it was between them for a very long time, the disorienting ebb and flow of love and despair as Matías grew into a person again for the second time in their life with only Asra as their guide. And he did know a lot, and he was a patient guide, but even Matías could tell he was struggling to hold it together. 

They knew there were things he wasn’t telling them. It frustrated them to no end, insatiably curious by nature, but they soon found he was very good at not really answering questions. And sometimes the things they asked made him look so sad they’d drop it immediately, growing almost as skilled at changing the subject as he.

But Asra was always happiest when he woke up to see Matías beside him. Matías was embarrassed the first couple of times he caught them watching but it quickly became clear that he didn’t mind it. And the way he looked at them, Matías could pretend he loved them too. 

Of course, they knew he cared about them. He was never shy about that, if a little flustered and guarded sometimes for reasons Matías could not discern. And while he seemed to feel some sort of obligation to them it was clear he didn’t do all this just because he thought he had to. But still Matías couldn’t figure him out. 

Normally they were a very direct sort of person. They didn’t see the point in beating around the bush, which made communicating with Asra difficult sometimes but they could never stay mad at him, nor he at them. If it were anyone else, they would have just said how they felt long ago. 

In the first year or so it felt like a silly childhood crush, because he was the only person they really knew, so they kept it to themself as best they could. Over time it developed into something both sweet and aching, shaped by Asra’s comings and goings as he disappeared more and more often. They became more closed off to each other and it hurt terribly, but the bitterness faded to a manageable level as Matías grew used to his frequent absence. 

Still, waking up together never lost its lustre. Asra began to rise before Matías, and it was their turn to wake, with those uncomplicated, bubbly feelings, to his undivided attention. Sometimes they’d feign sleep a little longer, just to bask in the feeling of his warm body next to them, the sound of his breathing, the phantom sensation of his gaze on them. It felt a little childish, and they knew there were times he could see through it. They wondered if he’d ever done the same.

They lived for those quiet moments when they could just be together, when Matías could pretend that there wasn’t a barrier between them. They’d seen their own aching reflected in his eyes sometimes when he was around, and though they longed to know the reason they were also a little bit afraid of what it might be, what it would mean for their relationship. 

Everything began to change the night the Countess came to their shop. Matías had been learning for years, and here was a chance to test it! The rush of activity is thrilling, and not least among the things increasing their heart rate is their sudden ability to find Asra through magic. It’s never happened before, it was always just a long and lonely absence. There’s something intimate about being able to see each other though they’re so far apart, and it’s comforting knowing that they’re capable of this kind of magic now. Knowing that they’re not completely separated anymore. 

Seeing into his personal gate is an intoxicating experience. Its visuals are dazzling but completely unsurprising, knowing Asra’s taste in colors, which is all of them at once. Even more intense is getting to go there in person. It feels like they’re closer, and the headiness of it makes both of them bold. 

It’s fitting that their first kiss is in the pouring rain. Asra always loved storms, the sound of raindrops on the roof and the feel of it on his skin. Often when the weather took a turn he would come home to the shop soaking wet, and seemed to take a little too much pleasure in Matías’ fussing over him.

Here, somehow, they brought the rain to him. His barefaced wonder is breathtaking and when Matías finds it directed at themself they are completely defenseless. When their lips meet, when Asra kisses them back with a depth of feeling they never anticipated, it feels both like dreaming and like waking up. 

**Author's Note:**

> gayeeeeeeeee


End file.
